The man still continues to surprise me. This is the guy who only three years ago, had me completely riddled with anxiety over my impending coming out at work. Now my mind still continues to spin at the thought of how he has changed not only himself, but me along with him.
- Co-worker: Did you know she's really a guy?
- Mom: Not when I hired her but yes, I am aware now.
- Co-worker: How could you hire someone like that?
- Mom: Easy, she's adorable and more than capable of doing the job.
- Co-worker: Well as a mother, I am appalled that he's allowed to work somewhere with people's children.
- My mom: Listen here lady, that IS someone's child you're talking about. You are an adult. Stop acting like a child. SHE is a wonderful GIRL.
- Co-Worker: Well I just don't feel safe sharing a bathroom with her.
- Mom: Okay, she's transgender, not some kind of sexual predator. She's not going to attack you in the bathroom. She's obviously a better person than you. You know what? Why don't you go complain to management about it because your ignorance and hate is really pissing me off.
- Seriously guys.... My mom is AMAZING.
You are my friend, right? And, friends confide in each other, right? And, friends are open to a little constructive criticism from their friends, right?
Ok, that last one’s a tough one, isn’t it? We all say we can take it but occasionally, the truth hurts and even when we hear it, we can get defensive and even offended.
I’m sure everyone’s quite aware by now that ‘passing’ is one of the driving forces in my own personal development. I’m also sure that everyone’s aware by now that all of the reassurances I continually get from friends and family do little to help me relax in my own personal acceptance regarding my appearance. I’m trying though. I’m sure it’ll happen eventually and I’m sure with more experiences like the one I’m going to tell you about now, that will happen sooner rather than later.
Ok… maybe not 365 but I’m confident the number is still quite high. As 2012 draws to a close, I can’t help but start to reflect on the first year of my transition. A quick look back seems to show that in the early stages of this journey, everything was fresh, new and exciting. After a while, it became evident that the honeymoon had faded away and I was well on my way to just living my life the way it was meant to be lived. So here’s a brief recap for those that may have missed some of the high points of the year.
Ahhh… bullying. Don’t we all think of this as the schoolyard kid who teases and taunts the weaker/different kids? You know the kids I’m talking about. The kid who can’t afford the best clothes, the kid with the speech impediment, the kid with a learning disability, the overweight kid, the gay kid. Whenever we picture these bullies and what they do to the others, don’t we all just want to go up to them and tell them to piss off?
It was probably about a year ago that a very good friend of mine outlined this for me. At the time I read her words, I hadn’t really taken them to heart. The words before me seemed foreign. Her experiences didn’t necessarily have to be my experiences. Somehow, I guess I was in denial about how much happiness costs.
I woke up this morning feeling good. I was prepared to go about my day as I always do. Shower, Facebook, work, coffee, coffee, coffee, home. However, I was struck square in the gut when I went on Facebook this morning. A friend had posted a status update informing everyone that today is Suicide Awareness Day.